Australia becomes 51st American state

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On Monday, 18,000 American troops landed on Australia’s north-eastern coast, occupying a large tract of land at Shoalwater Bay and completing a process that had been developing for some time – the transformation of Australia into the 51st United State of America.

The troops began their occupation by embarking on a two week training exercise called Talisman Saber 2013. The Australian government agreed to foot the bill for the exercise when it surrendered to the invading forces.

After the training is over, many troops will leave but a strong contingent will remain, manning the army bases that cover the occupied territory, with permanent US bases in all Australian states and territories.

Australia has gradually been ceding its independence from the US for some time now. As well as the US bases, Australia proudly followed America into long and expensive wars in Iraq and Afghanistan despite public disapproval, refused to support Australian citizens David Hicks and Mamdouh Habib who were wrongfully detained at US military prison Guantanamo Bay, and for a long time joined the US as the sole developed nations opposing the UN Kyoto Protocol on climate justice.

A spokesperson for the Australian government said the invasion and occupation were “a natural progression in the story of Australian loyalty to America, a story that has been going since the Vietnam war.”

Despite the invasion, life went on as per usual for most Australians. Many didn’t notice, and media coverage was negligible as the newspapers were dominated with weekend footy scores and politicians attacking asylum seekers. A significant portion however chose to celebrate the occasion by eating out at an American-owned fast food chain, or by tuning in to an American TV show.

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